Everything In Its Right Place

I’ve been in uncharted territory lately — a place that feels unfamiliar even if I’ve been here before. It’s a void where what I once knew as truth trembles, and the answers I’ve grasped hover just out of reach.

There’s a pattern I can feel in my writing, in the way I move through the world, and even in how my thoughts loop through my mind. It’s like they’ve been caught on the same leaf — unsure whether to break off and soar toward the sky or tumble quietly to the ground.

In the most complicated way, what I’m trying to say is that I hadn’t been feeling exuberantly alive. I’ve felt more like a participant in the systems of life and less like a force in the wind that whirls beyond them.

So, I went back and read through old entries — and rediscovered something I didn’t realize I’d lost: the beauty of having confidence in the cyclical nature of life. I found words I once wrote and read them like they weren’t my own:

The dream isn’t just what you chase. It’s what you choose to live in — whether you see the promise or pray for its arrival.

This came from the idea that our emotions in the present are often built from the anticipation of the future. That’s why a Friday feels electric even when we’re at work or school, and a Sunday — while it’s a “free day” — can feel half-dreadful. It’s all expectation, the quiet architecture of what we think is coming.

But this weekend, I found my dream life again — and not just because it was Friday. My dad came into town and reminded me of the most important thing: it’s just not that serious, because the easiest shortcut to presence lives in laughter.

In the best way, he made life feel like we really are floating on a rock. Together, we sawed a stolen stop sign to fit perfectly in the corner of my apartment, I managed push-ups on a keg stand (something I can’t do on the ground), and we bought a cool-looking drink from the grocery store only to learn why it was called Vybes. We did everything we weren’t supposed to do to celebrate Family Weekend — and we couldn’t have predicted the next moment (probably for the best).

I can’t tell you how much I needed all my analytics to go to bed — to quiet the restless voice that keeps trying to decode life. Because in their place, I found exactly what I’d been asking for all along: the simple, sacred joy of laughing where my feet are.

And what do you know, I have a little pact that Radiohead’s “Everything In Its Right Place” will play when I get myself back. And, as I hit publish, it shuffled on right on cue.